Roscoso's Outpost Isil
by Chaos Lord Roscoso
Summary: Parody of Halo 3 Machinima Outpost Isil! Watch the mad Chaos of Outpost Valhalla! As Ranger, D-Dude, Nukid and X Prodigy try to survive! Co Written with Iron Mantis
1. Rekindle the Flames

**Outpost Isil!**

Rekindle the Flames!

The first thing we see is a huge door marked kitchen.

"Now add a little of that, a dash of that, a hint of that and a Gallon of that, then heat it at 300 degrees for 5 seconds! Then cool it with Nitrogen Gas! BAM! Ok now to test it out!" A voice is heard as a blast of flames came out the doors followed by a blue flash before a figure walked out, he looked like a Velociraptor! This is the Fictorian Dragosaur! Dimension-Dude!

"Hey Ranger!! Ranger?" D-Dude said as he walked away from the kitchen.

"Hey Twilight, Fangirl Killer!!" D-Dude said still no sign of him, before he walked into what looked like a Medical Centre!

"Hey Nukid have you seen Ranger?" D-Dude asked. As another guy turned around he had Blonde hair and seemed to be wearing clothes similiar to the CP9, this is Nukid!

"D-Dude, the only time I've seen Ranger is when he's drunk of the Moonshine he steals from my supply! Or he's screwed the Darkside's and got shot!" Nukid said. (Sorry to Ranger if that's Offensive)

"So that's no?" D-Dude asked.

"Why do you need to see him anyway?" Nukid asked.

"I got a new Secret Special recipe to try," D-Dude said as Nukid walked away.

"Where you going?" D-Dude asked.

"To turn on the Stomach Pump," Nukid said.

"Come on my foods not bad!" D-Dude said.

"The Last time you put, Special, Secret and Recipe in the same sentence, I couldn't talk for a months because my entire throat went up in flames!" Nukid said.

"I warned you it would be spicy," D-Dude said.

"The Temperature I got was off the charts!" Nukid said.

"How high was it?" D-Dude said.

"It melted before I could get a good reading," Nukid said.

"You know what I don't need this, beside you use it as an Excuse to get Porn, Pervert!" D-Dude said as he walked out of the base. (Sorry to Nukid)

"Ranger! Where are you? Damn Twilight always running off! Some commander he is...woah!!" D-Dude yelled as he barely avoided a Sniper Round as he dove into Cover.

"What in Fictoria is going on!?" D-Dude yelled as a Flag suddenly flew in.

"Now Flags are falling from the Sky!?" D-Dude yelled as suddenly a figure appeared he was wearing clothes similiar to Dunedan Rangers, This guy is Ranger24 the Only Twilight Author Fighter, and leader of the Outpost Valhalla forces.

"Ranger?" D-Dude asked.

"Hey Lizard," Ranger said.

"First it's Dragosaur and second! What is going on?" D-Dude asked.

"Duh, the Darksides are attacking!" Ranger said.

"Why are they attacking?" D-Dude asked.

"I killed half their garrison and stole the flag," Ranger said.

"WHAT!!??" D-Dude yelled.

"What? I got the flag how about some thanks," Ranger said.

"THANKS!? You brought the entire Darkside base on us! Why did you take the Flag!?" D-Dude said.

"I think they said they liked Fangirls," Ranger said as D-Dude did an Anime Face-Fault.

"THATS WHY YOU TOOK THE FLAG!!??" D-Dude yelled.

"Or something like that," Ranger said as D-Dude growled.

"Ranger if we survive, I am going to make sure you crap Loafs for the rest of your life!!" D-Dude yelled as Ranger turned around.

"By the way they're coming round the back," Ranger said.

"What!?" D-Dude yelled as he saw two Ghost behind them.

"Oh man!" D-Dude moaned as they both dodged the plasma fire. As Ranger jumped onto one of the Ghost's and knocked the Darkside out showing it was Omaddon.

"Run away!!" He yelled as he dashed back to base, as Ranger turned to the other one which was firing on D-Dude and quickly sent the Driver who was Drake running. When he noticed another Darkside named Johan trying to snipe him, but Ranger started firing with a Battle Rifle sending Johan running too.

"D-Dude! Stop!!" Ranger yelled snapping the Dragosaur out of his panic.

"What? I'm alive!!" D-Dude cheered.

"If you count," Ranger said.

"Grr!" D-Dude said. As Ranger glanced at the Flag

"I wonder why they tried so hard to get this flag back?" Ranger said.

"I thought it was because they had a festish for flappy things?" D-Dude said. As he took the flag into the base.

"I better call command, we need some support," Ranger said

(That's Part One! Next time the Darkside's return to a garrison-less base! While trying to get order back, Omaddon decided an Election is needed.)


	2. Leader of Neuvo Fairyland

**Outpost Isil!**

The New Leader of Neuvo Fairyland Land.

As we see Drake, Johan and Omaddon heading back to base, As both Johan and Drake started panting out of breath.

"Report," Drake gasped.

"Well looks like that single Author, took out Onikagemon, Virusmon, Oldkid and Commander Mordid!" Johan said panting.

"Woah, you two need to work out more, we only ran an Inch of a Mile." Omaddon said,

"Oh shut up Omaddon! We don't take fun runs everyday!" Johan said.

"Enough, phew, we need to rejoin..." Drake said but Omaddon stopped him.

"Hold on! Who died and made you boss?" Omaddon asked.

"Commander Mordid," Drake said.

"No why are YOU in charge, we're the same rank," Johan said.

"I'm a Veteran," Drake said.

"Yeah, and I'm a Sniper Vet, and Omaddon's Veteran Armour was on the way when the Author Fighters retook this planet," Johan said

"I like Blue though," Omaddon said.

"The Point is, we're all the same rank!" Johan said.

"Oh ohhh, I have an Idea," Omaddon said.

"That's a first!" Drake said.

"Let's have an Election!" Omaddon said.

"A what?" Drake asked.

"It means we vote for our next leader," Johan said

"That way it's fair!" Omaddon said.

"Alright let's vote!" Drake said.

"Nononono, you got it all wrong, we need rules to make it fair," Omaddon said.

"Fine! How long can this possible take!" Drake said.

(One Week Later!)

"(Sighs) Now that we've set the rules of Fairyland!" Drake said in a pissed off tone. (Yeah who thought of that? Three Guesses!)

"It's Neuvo Fairyland!" Omaddon said.

"I don't care! Let's just get this done!" Drake said.

"I nominate Drake!" Omaddon said.

"I second that!" Johan said.

"I accept, anyone else?" Drake asked.

Silence

"WHAT!? I'm the only one running!?" Drake yelled.

"Looks like it," Johan said.

"I spent a week making up Laws and Rules to still be the Only NOMINEE!!!" Drake yelled.

"Look at it this way, you've made the rules for future power disputes, think of the Little Darksides," Omaddon said with a dumb smile.

"Omaddon, now that's I'm boss, I'm gonna shove your head so far...!" Drake yelled.

"Your not boss yet," Omaddon said.

"WHAT!?" Drake yelled.

"We still have to vote," Johan said.

"I'm unapposed here," Drake said.

"Article...," Johan said.

"Forget it! Just get the votes done with!" Drake said.

(A few hours later)

"The Votes are in and Drake is the leader, Two votes to None!" Johan said.

"Wait, there's three of us, who didn't vote?" Drake asked.

"I voted for you," Johan said.

"I of course voted for myself so....OMADDON!!" Drake yelled.

"What? I didn't feel right voting for someone I know too well...Drake? Don't look at me that way," Omaddon said as Drake walked forward.

"Know me now huh!? Neuvo Fairy THIS!!! Stop moving I'm just breaking your ribs!!" Drake yelled.

(That's Part 2! Next time, A new Arrival appears at the Author Base and quickly finds out about many deaths and a crazy commander!)


	3. The Brave British Demon!

**Outpost Isil!**

The Brave British Demon!

We see a wathog driving near the Author Base as out of a seat appeared a figure, his most unique feature was the hollow mask he was wearing this is X Prodigy.

"Gamma? How long was it that this place called for reinforcement's?" X asked.

"Why you asking again? What am I a notepad? That was my Grandad, I'm evolved A.G.I!!" The car said?

"Listen asshole just tell me the answer!" X said.

"Fine! 5 Years! Happy?" Gamma said.

"Five Years? That was when the Darksides Pulled out?" X said.

"I say it again, do I look like a notepad? Do I have a styles, am I fashionable portable and easy to carry, do I have an I.Q less that Caboose on his GOOD days!" Gamma said. (Sorry to all RVB fans!)

"Your the most Belligerant A.I, I've ever had to work with," X said as he sat in the Passenger seat.

"Feeling mutual, uh what's Belligerant?" Gamma asked as he drove over to the Author Base where X saw D-Dude looking in the other Direction.

"Excuse me?" X asked.

"GAH!!"D-Dude yelled turning around and spitting a ball of fire, which X ducked.

"This a Bad time?" X asked.

"Ranger! DON'T sneak up on me...wait? Your not Ranger, who are you?" D-Dude asked.

"I'm Corporal X Prodigy, I was told to speak with the Captain of this place.

"He's dead," D-Dude said.

"Liutenant..." X started to say.

"Both Dead," D-Dude said.

"How?" X asked.

"I think it was a Plasma Grenade to the head and an Energy Sword," D-Dude said.

"Darkside's where THAT fierce?" X asked.

"Oh no heheh, you see when we where playing Pinata for one of their birthdays, one of them fell into a crate of Plasma Grenades...that was messy," D-Dude said.

"And the Energy Sword one?" X asked.

"The Sword fell down, activated, bounced up and cut his head in two!" D-Dude said.

"Then who's in charge!!" X yelled as Ranger walked out.

"That would be me, Second Lieutenant Ranger24! You must be the new guy, D.M sent?" Ranger asked.

"That's me," X said.

"Excellent, and a Warthog! What combat have you had?" Ranger asked.

"Uh, I haven't seen Combat," X said.

"Say what?" Ranger said.

"I'm a Mechanic, I fix and maintain things, I don't fight," X said as Ranger just stared at him.

"DAMNIT! SON OF A...!!!" Ranger yelled as he punched a wall yelling some swear words.

"What's?" X asked.

"That's how he shows grief," D-Dude said.

"I'd hate to see Anger," X said.

"If you do run, or you won't live long!" D-Dude said as Ranger calmed down.

"Ok..ok..least we have a Warthog and a Driver!" Ranger said.

"Uh I can't drive, I just turned 16, I can't fix him, but not drive him," X said.

"Then if you can't drive? How the Hell did you get here?" Ranger asked.

"I can drive myself Power Ranger!" Gamma said.

"Wait? Did the car just...DID IT JUST CALL ME A POWER RANGER!!" Ranger yelled.

"You bet Twilight, now go back to dissing people!" Gamma said. (Sorry Ranger, I know your cool!)

"I outta shove this sword so far...!!" Ranger yelled but D-Dude stopped him.

"Woah Ranger, I'd look first, he has a really big gun," D-Dude said pointing at the Machine Gun.

"Yeah, that's what all the Girls say, you know your digging my Man Cannon, if you don't back up, you'll be feeling it's heat!" Gamma said.

"Calm down Ranger, Gamma's the Warthog's A.I! He a bit of a...an Asshole," X said.

"Oh now, I'm from a Colour to a neighbourhood type!" Gamma said.

"What you don't like being called Green," D-Dude said.

"Don't make me put rounds in your Scaly butt! Lizard!" Gamma yelled.

"It's Dragosaur!!" D-Dude roared.

"He's been having these Behaviour Problems, so he sent Me and Him here, because it's remote and quiet," X said.

"Quiet? HA!" D-Dude laughed.

"What?" X asked.

"You see...," Ranger started to say.

"Banshee's back!" Nukid said over the radio.

"Hold on X, D-Dude rocket and lock on!" Ranger said as D-Dude brought out a Rocket Launcher.

"Ready and Loaded and Aimed." D-Dude said.

"FIRE!!" Ranger yelled as D-Dude started firing Missiles at The Banshee, but it managed to avoid the rockets and flew off.

"What the?" X asked.

"We need your help to get outta this alive!" Ranger said.

"But I'm a Mechanic!" X said.

"I'm a Cook! Few weeks ago, I couldn't hold a gun straight, let alone fire a rocket launcher," D-Dude said.

"But...?" X started to see.

"He's too big a Torchic, to help!" Gamma said.

"That so? Screw you Data Trash! I'll do it!" X said as Gamma scoffed.

"You'll be crying after the first minute of battle!" Gamma said.

"Hmm, sir, X Prodigy reporting for duty!" X said.

"Great, let's get to work!" Ranger said.

"LOL! You bunch of bitches!" Gamma yelled.

(That's Part Three! Next time D-Dude reveals he's the only Author who can drive a car, so they head off to get some training equipment, but during a search, X has an Encounter of the Darkside kind!)


	4. Close Encounter of Evil Kind! Part One

**Outpost Isil!**

Close Encounter of the Violent Kind! Part One!

We find ourselves with Ranger, D-Dude and X Prodigy.

"Alright X, it's time to turn you into a Hard-charging, Heart-breaking Life-taking devil dog! Just like me!" Ranger said.

"What your calling yourself that Ranger cause that is total bull...YOW!!! What was that for!?" D-Dude yelled as Ranger punched him.

"Insubordination!" Ranger said.

"What? Your making up words again!" D-Dude said.

"What? No I'm not!" Ranger said.

"Yes you are like the other ones, bogus, Rudementry and Inter-something," D-Dude said. (Sorry D-Dude, I know your the smart one of the Author Fighters)

"That last one is Food Poisoning!" Ranger said.

"No! Food Poisoning is called just that! That word is something you pulled outta your ass!" D-Dude said. As Ranger glared at him.

(Meanwhile)

Inside the Darkside Base we see Drake with Johan walking over. Drake was wearing strange armour similiar to Mordrid's.

"Yo, Drake, those Authors shot me off again, and I thought it would be better to keep our last Banshe...woah! Nice Armour! Wait isn't that Mordrids?" Johan asked.

"Of course! I think he'd want his legacy as a great warrior passed down through his armour, in badass looks...sorry I mean honour in battle!" Drake said.

"That and it's shiny!" Johan said.

"I know!" Drake said.

(Meanwhile)

"So whats the plan?" X asked.

"Alright, now we need to get the training video from the hiding place!" Ranger said.

"Oh great!" D-Dude moaned.

"Let's get going!" X said.

Well...there is a slight problem," Ranger said.

"Our 'Great' Leader Ranger hid them close to the Darkside Base and as weak as they are, they could overpower us, especially with the banshee!" D-Dude said.

"Then why don't we take Gamma along, he's fast and he has a Heavy Anti-Aircraft Cannon!" X said.

"Well I can't drive without crashing through something, be it a horde of Fangirls, a rock or...a horde of Fangirls! You said you can't drive and we can't put GPS locations into Gamma's memory if the Darksides capture them, they'll know our hiding spots, or my secret stash!" Ranger said.

"I can drive," D-Dude said as both X and Ranger looked at him.

"What?" Both asked.

"I can drive!" D-Dude said.

"D-Dude, you can't handle a toaster without making an explosion how the hell can you drive!?" Ranger said.

"I used to pro race back on Fictor, before the war," D-Dude said.

"You race? Like what electric whisks?" X said.

"Haha! I raced in the First Fictorian Pro Circuit!" D-Dude said.

"You know what, I believe you!" Ranger said.

"How can you believe that?" X asked.

"D-Dude is alot of things, but He ain't a lier!" Ranger said as he climbed onto the Machine Gunner on the warthog, D-Dude took the wheel while X sat in the passenger seat.

(Meanwhile)

"By the way Drake, can you open the door to the kitchen, I'm starving!" Johan said.

"I can't Omaddon loading the carcasses from the attack by that Author!" Drake said.

"Then I'll get some leftovers!" Johan said.

"Johan, we ran outta food three years ago! All we have left is in the fridge where Omaddon is working," Drake said.

"What about the Dark Warrior's? Didn't we have leftover Dark Warrior's?" Johan asked.

"Mordrid blew the little buggers sky high! After they stole his cake recipe!" Drake said,

"Oh yeah, I still can't believe a Darkside that came from a Prince knows how to make sweets... though his cakes were to die for." Johan said before stopping.

"Wait what happened to the Commander's Body?" Johan asked.

"It was in his will, he wanted to be cremated," Drake said.

"I was wondering where the bodies went," Johan said.

"Oh no we just burned Mordrid," Drake said.

"What about the others?" Johan asked.

"What do you think Omaddon putting in the Freezer?" Drake said.

(That's Part One of Episode Four! Next time, The Authors head to the hiding spot to find the videos are gone, while searching for them, X runs into trouble!)


	5. Close Encounter of Evil Kind! Part Two

Outpost Isil

Episode 4!

Close Encounter of the Darkside kind! Part Two!

Back with the Authors, D-Dude drove the Warthog towards a down Pelican, as He, Ranger and X got out of the car.

"Here's the spot," Ranger said as he went closer to the Pelican and started looking through the contents of the down ship.

"What is, besides this Pelican," X asked.

"This is where Ranger hides the tapes," D-Dude said.

"Why out here?" X asked.

"We had two years of Semi-Truce with the Darksides, neither side had any real strenght to do enough damage and both sides liked living," D-Dude said.

"So we thought this place would be a good place to stash stuff needed for the future, couldn't risk Camo Darksides sneaking into the base and stealing stuff," Ranger continued.

"But wouldn't a safe be better place for stuff like that?" X said.

"That's the other thing, Ranger needed some target practice and test the power of our Rocket Launcher," D-Dude said.

"Gotta hand it to the guys who made it, took me three shots with the Rocket Launcher to get through," Ranger said.

(Meanwhile)

"Well, if I can't get any food, what do I do?" Johan asked.

"How about you go and do some scouting, I saw an Author Warthog come through the pass earlier today," Drake said.

"Sounds good, after all it's a great test for my...magnificent talents," Johan said.

"Don't show boat by missing...again, just scout them!" Drake ordered.

"Heh, laying low is my middle name," Johan said.

"I thought it was Hugh?" Drake asked.

"Shut up, I told you never say that in public," Johan hissed.

(Meanwhile)

"Guys, the tapes aren't here, must've been moved around or something," Ranger said.

"That...or you've forgotten again," D-Dude said.

"First three times where a fluke! I even told ya I was hiding them in the Pelican this time!" Ranger said.

"So split up and look for them?" X asked.

"Good idea, I'll leave a Beacon here, X you look by those caves, I'll keeping looking around here and D-Dude will start looking at the closer cave," Ranger said.

"Yes sir," X said.

"Why do you keep calling him sir?" D-Dude asked.

"He's an Officer, aren't you suppose to call people with higher ranks, Sir or Ma'am?" X asked.

"He's barely one! He got a Battlefield commission to Second Liutenant and we started running out of Officers!" D-Dude said.

"D-Dude you will respect my Authority or your Court martialed for Disobediance," Ranger said.

"See making up words again!" D-Dude said.

"Just do the damn job!" Ranger said.

"FINE! Damn stupid Ranger," D-Dude muttered as he headed to a cave while X went in the other cave, meanwhile Johan was leaving the Darkside base and started to head down the valley just when he and X passed each other, they both stopped and turned to face each other.

"AUTHOR!" Johan yelled as he fired his Beam Rifle but missed, as X quickly brought out a Pair of Pistols, named Dawn and Dusk and started firing at Johan, luckily the Darkside had an Energy shield as he quickly retreated!

"Hey your not getting away!" X yelled as he chased after Johan.

"Now I gotc....crap," X said as he had turned a corner to see Drake, Johan and Omaddon.

"Uh Parley?" X asked.

"More like Par...uh..Dead!" Omaddon said as Drake sighed

"Omaddon shut up and let the adults talk," Drake said.

"I'm older than you," Omaddon said.

"Alright Author, surrender and tell us everything and we might make your death quick and painless," Drake said.

"What's the other option?" X asked.

"I let Johan have his way with you," Drake said as X gagged.

"That's disgusting!" X said.

"Drake! I thought I told you to say I torture until death not...gah...your one hell of a idiot...what's that?" Johan said as he heard a driving sound.

"WAHOOO!" Is heard as the Warthog drove off a rock.

"Of mother of..." Johan started to say when the Warthog landed on him and Ranger started firing the Machine gun at Drake and Omaddon.

"Come on bitches!" Ranger said as he continued to shoot.

"X hurry and get in!" D-Dude said as X wasted no time and got into the Passenger seat and D-Dude drove back to the base, Ranger providing Covering fire.

**(That's this one done, sorry it took so long, anyway, the Darksides regroup and find out that someone else survived Ranger's attack, meanwhile X is given a tour of the base with Nukid as he shows him the crazy things that happen)**


	6. L'Excursion Grande!

Outpost Isil

Episode 5!

L'Excursion Grande!

As D-Dude drove the Warthog back to the base, they saw Nukid right outside.

"Did you fuck with the Darksides again?" Nukid asked.

"You should have been there Nukid! X ran in there all guns blazing and those Darksides where all screaming like little girls and...," Ranger started to say but D-Dude interrupted.

"What the hell are you on Ranger?" D-Dude asked.

"Sorry, I'm just happy that X managed to get his first taste of action....and rather well too," Ranger said.

"Sir, I had basic Combat Training," X said.

"Heh and modest too," Ranger said.

"What..the..hell?" X said.

"Hey don't ask me, I think he finally lost it." D-Dude said.

"Well, I'm glad X has gone on his first step to be a killing machine, but Protocol still stands, I need to give him a Physical, before he goes off on more adventures," Nukid said.

"Fine, but I'll need D-Dude up here with me, case the Darksides come back," Ranger said as D-Dude got out of the car.

"Don't think so Ranger, you want Dinner tonight right?" D-Dude asked.

"Well yeah but..." Ranger started to say.

"Then I need to get it started!" D-Dude said.

"Fine! Just leave me out here to die, see if I care," Ranger said.

"Fine by me," D-Dude said as he, X and Nukid entered the base. D-Dude went one way while X and Nukid went another way.

"Strange, looking from the outside, I didn't expect all this standard Material?" X said.

"Took nearly a whole year to set this Outpost up, it was an Abandoned structure when we found it," Nukid said.

"Darkside?" X asked.

"Nope, we haven't discovered it's original makers, but anyway, it was stripped when we landed, we used everything we had to make this place home, so you'll be seeing alot of Jerry Rigged stuff, I'll give ya a quick tour, come on," Nukid said as he and X walked away.

(Meanwhile)

Back at the Darkside base, Drake and Omaddon were looking at the Down body of Johan.

"Great, now we're outmanned, outgunned and outclassed, we're boned," Drake said.

"Don't give up Drake, we can do it!" Omaddon said.

"Woooah, now you know our policy don't ask, don't tell, but I do _not _swing that..." Drake started to say.

"Nononooo, I mean beat the Authors, we're now the scruffy underdogs and they always come back in the end," Omaddon said.

"You've been watching those stupid shows again?" Drake asked.

"But anyway, we still have a chance." Omaddon said.

"Yeah sure, but I'll check for radio beacons," Drake said.

"See your not giving up!" Omaddon said smiling in a stupid way.

"This is my last resort, your lucky I still need your help, otherwise you'd be decorating the base with your body parts," Drake said as he walked away.

(Meanwhile)

X and Nukid were walking down a path to hear struggling sounds.

"Where are we?" X asked.

"That's D-Dude's kitchen," Nukid said, as they hear D-Dude shooting at something.

"What's he doing?" X asked.

"Making Dinner?" Nukid asked.

"Hah! No your gonna get it! Hahahahahahahahaahhaah!" D-Dude laughed like a manic as Flames could be seen coming out of the door.

"THAT's cooking!?" X asked.

"No he's killing the main course," Nukid said.

"Your joking?" X asked.

"Nope, now you know why I always order take out, whenever possible, go around the kitchen, it's a deathtrap," Nukid said.

"Duly noted," X said as Nukid nodded.

"Next I'll show you Ranger's room," Nukid said as they walked away from the Kitchen as an explosion was heard.

(Meanwhile)

Back at the Darkside base a groaning was heard as we see a Darkside who looked very similiar to Nukid, this is Oldkid his Darkside.

"Uh, what hit me, where am I? And who killed Onikagemon and Virusmon before I COULD!!" Oldkid yelled.

"Wait, was I dead...I remember taunting that Twilight Warrior when...of yeah, Plasma grenade stuck to my face...but I'm alive? Wait...am I in hell? Where are the Hot Demon chicks to shag!?" Oldkid said glancing around, before Omaddon came down and saw him.

"Mother of Rasets..." Omaddon whispered.

"Damn! Looks like I'm alive, anyway looks like your alive too..." Oldkid started to say.

"ZOMBIE!!! GET AWAY YOU BASTARD!!!!" Omaddon yelled as he turned around and slammed into a wall as Oldkid sighed.

"Of all the Idiots to survive," Oldkid said.

(Meanwhile)

Back at the Author Base, Nukid and X where looking up at a room.

"That's Ranger's room, as per rule, we don't go up there," Nukid said.

"Cause it's the CO's room?" X asked.

"No...it's because it's Rangers room," Nukid said.

"So?" X asked.

"Have you met him?" Nukid asked.

"So he's a little nuts, that dosen't say anything bout his room," X said.

"Hold that thought, 12, 11, 10..." Nukid started counting.

"Wait what are you doing?" X asked.

"...6, 5, 4..." Nukid continued counting.

"Are you listening to me?" X asked.

"...2, 1," Nukid said just as an explosion went off in Ranger's room.

"What the hell di..." X started to said.

"Moonshine," Nukid said.

"What?" X asked.

"Moonshine did that, it's a daily thing, Ranger hooks up some C12's to the top of the barrels to even the flavour making it smoother going down," Nukid said.

"He's totally...?" X asked.

"Nuts? Wacko? Insane? Off his rocker? Lost it? Gone Bonkers...and a Damn good tailor?" Nukid asked.

"Yeah pretty much..Hold on...he's a tailor?" X said confused

"You be surprised at how quick clothes become destroyed after facing a helluva lot of monster's." Nukid explained

"Was that before or after he started making moonshine with explosives?" X asked.

(Meanwhile)

Back with the Darksides, Omaddon was just finishing his explanation to Oldkid.

"So, it's just us three left, huh?" Oldkid asked.

"Yeah, but at least we have our medical chief back!" Omaddon said happily

"Omaddon, I barely knew the first thing about medicine. Remember? I was appointed by Mordrid cause i made fun of him knowing how to bake." Oldkid said

Omaddon ignored him. "It's so great to finally have a real medical professional. Now we don't have to let anyone else just die!"

"You let Johan die?! You know he owes me money!!!" Oldkid said as he walked up to Johan's body to check for a pulse.

"What? I don't know how to help someone who's had a car fall on them!" Omaddon said defensively. "And then Drake kept saying, 'We always need more food supplies.'"

"He's not dead." Oldkid said

"What?"

"He's not dead, just in a coma," Oldkid told him. He gestured to Omaddon to help him pick up Johan to take him to the medical ward. Omaddon hurried over to help, lifting Johan's legs while Oldkid got his head. "Come on, I need to get him into - "

He was stopped, however, by a groan coming from somewhere in front of him. He looked down for the source of the voice and was amazed to find Johan stirring, somehow still alive.

"Where am I?" Johan asked groggily.

Upon seeing a supposedly dead Johan coming back to life, Omaddon panicked, dropping him to the floor with a thud and backing away quickly.

"AHH! ZOMBIE!"

"Omaddon!" Oldkid said irritably, glaring at the dumb darkside.

"Oh." Omaddon laughed nervously. "Sorry."

Oldkid groaned. "Retard."

It took a moment for Johan's vision to clear up. He looked around, and saw Oldkid standing in front of him.

"AHH!" Johan yelled, jumping back quickly. "Zombie Oldkid! Don't eat my brain, or pull my heart out!!"

"Why do people always said that, i don't eat brains!!! Though i do confess pulling out people hearts and watching there faces of horror as i do it is my favorite past-time." Oldkid said

(Meanwhile)

X prodigy looked around his quarters in awe. The room was the single largest one in the base.

"Are you serious? This is huge!" X said.

"Yeah, you get the most room," Nukid said. "Unfortunately, you have to share it with the supplies, and, um..." He gestured towards Gamma as he muttered him

"Oh, I know you didn't just call me 'him,'" Gamma said irritably. "Ain't I a man, too? Huh, ain't I?"

"No," X said calmly. "You're an Artificial Intelligence."

"Oh, so you're a robo-phobe, huh?" Gamma asked contemptibly. "You sheep intestine-eating son of a bitch!"

"That's what scots do, I'm English!" X said.

"...Why don't we go to the medical wing?" Nukid suggested.

"Oh, yeah, please," X agreed, eager to leave Gamma's annoying insults.

"Oh I see, running away from an argument, you'll quake in fear when the Robot Revolution happens and you'll all be in fucking bubbles powering my batteries!" Gamma yelled.

Later, in the medical ward, Nukid was preparing to give X his physical examination.

"So, what do I do?" X asked.

"Just stand still and I'll give you a non-evasive scan," said Nukid.

"Huh?"

"It means I don't have to cut you open to see if everything works." Nukid took out a menacing-looking device. "Okay, stand still."

"Holy Crud!" X said as he backed away from the device.

"Don't worry, you won't get injured." Right as he said this, Nukid fired some sort of orange beam and ran it up the length of X's body.

"YEOW!" X yelled. It still stung even after the beam deactivated.

"I thought you said I wouldn't be hurt you liar!" X said accusingly.

"No, I said you won't get injured, the procedure's incredibly painful," Nukid informed him. X glared at the medic. "Now I just have to upload the data into the computer and we'll know in a few minutes."

Still smarting, X looked around the room while waiting for Nukid to finish the upload. His eyes fell on a small cluster of fusion coils in a corner of the room.

"What are you doing with those fusion cores?" X asked.

"Those aren't fusion cores. That's where Ranger puts his moonshine." Nukid said

"In fusion cores?" X said incredulously

"The containers, yes." Nukid nodding his head

"So, he puts his booze in containers drenched in radioactive waste," X said, as if to clarify a point.

"Oh, no, he washes it out first," said Nukid. "Like I said, we had to improvise."

X sighed. It was official: This valley was really messed up. He froze suddenly when he remembered the explosion earlier.

"Wait a minute...if that's Ranger's moonshine, does that mean that - ?"

"No, that's just during the distillation process, That's the final stuff." Nukid said

"So, it won't explode randomly?" X asked as he started messing with the containers, knocking them around a little bit.

"Well, I'm testing that," Nukid said, unaware of what X was doing. "I think the chemicals combined with the residue from the fusion core can make for a fairly powerful explosion if - "

He was interrupted, however, by an even larger explosion than the last one sounding behind him, followed by the thud of X Prodigy's body on the wall.

" - if the right force is applied, I'll get the medkit" Nukid sighed as X groaned in pain.

**(Ok that's this one done, many thanks to Iron Mantis for helping me!)**


	7. Artish of War

Outpost Isil

Episode 6!

Art-ish of War!

At the Darkside Base, Drake was now meeting with Oldkid, who was still alive.

"Glad to see your ready for action Oldkid, but there is one thing I don't get," Drake said.

"What?" Oldkid asked.

"How the hell did you survive a Plasma Grenade to the face and Johan survived a Three Ton Car landing on him," Drake asked.

"Have you heard of the legend of Respawn?" Oldkid asked.

"That legendary Technology left behind by the great Rasets all those years ago, that would grant certains Darksides Immortaility?" Johan asked.

"That's a Child's story, Respawn dosen't exit," Drake said.

"It does, and the fact Me and Johan survived, more speciacally Johan, it must exist," Oldkid said as Johan glared at Oldkid.

"I'm a Horrible Darkside, why would Raset's power spare me?" Johan asked.

"Remember that flag?" Oldkid asked.

"The flappy thing attached to the pole? I always liked it," Omaddon said.

"Liked?" Oldkid.

"Yeah, Past tense, you know that Twilight Warrior...he ran off with it," Johan said as Oldkid cursed.

"Mother of Rasets!" Oldkid said.

"That Flag is a bearer of Respawn?" Drake asked.

"It only works if your wearing the right Tech, it stores your soul while repairing your body, that's why I was brought here, to guard it," Oldkid said.

"Great, so now what?" Johan asked.

"Now we get it back, Drape, you and the two cannon fodder stay here, I'll get it back!" Oldkid said. But Drake looked slightly angry.

"It's Drake!" Drake said.

"What?" Oldkid asked.

"My name is Drake! Drake! D, R, A, K, E! Got it Memorisied?" Drake asked.

"Sure whatever Drock, I need to do my job, you stay here and make sure your idiots don't destroy everything," Oldkid said. As he left the area.

"Mother of Rasets that guy is a DICK!" Drake yelled.

"I'm not useless? Right?" Omaddon asked.

"Course your useful, as a Bullet shield," Johan said.

"Or dinner," Drake said.

(Meanwhile)

We see Ranger, X and D-Dude outside the base.

"Alright, if your gonna be soldiers, you need training," Ranger said.

"We've seen combat," D-Dude said.

"But you haven't helped," Ranger said.

"What?" X asked.

"I don't recall screaming and wasting ammo helping," Ranger said.

"What do you call it?" D-Dude asked.

"I all it pulling a Dragosaur," Ranger said as X chuckled.

"Good one Ranger," X said but he felt D-Dude glaring.

"I can make you hurt from the inside out, forever!" D-Dude said.

"Alright, small unit tactics, narrows down to three simple things, One: Manuever under fire, that means run where I tell ya while people shoot at ya," Ranger said

"Number Two: Communicating among Teammates, well D-Dude can talk, but he can't talk the right way, we'll work on that," Ranger said.

"And Three: Opressing and Eliminating Enemies, that means shoot the bad guys, I'll kill them, you don't even have to hit'em, that's why I'm here! Any questions?" Ranger asked.

"Yeah can we...?" D-Dude started to ask.

"If you shoot me in the balls one more time, I'll turn your Intestines into a Hot Dog, which you'll prepare for dinner and it'll be delicious!" Ranger said.

(Meanwhile)

After a few minutes of searching through the hangar, Oldkid took the last Banshee and flew off towards the human base to retrieve the flag. Drake, Omaddon, and Johan watched him go.

"Is it a smart decision?" Omaddon asked after a moment. "You know, letting him take our last Banshee."

"Probably not," Drake answered. "But at least at this rate, he could end up dead." Darke said.

"Doubt it," Johan said skeptically.

"You have something to add, Johan?" asked Drake, turning to the red-haired man expectantly.

"Well, you see," Johan said slowly. "Oldkid is a Spec Ops Darkside, thus a badass. And badasses are hard to kill. I mean, look for the example of yours truly," he added, drawing himself up proudly.

"Your a badass?" Omaddon said sarcastically. "What did you do? Ding Dong Ditch?"

Drake groaned exasperatedly. "Rasets… What did I do to deserve this?"

All three of them, however, were distracted by something coming in on the radio. Most of it was just static, but they could make out parts of some words.

"Outpost Valhalla…is Special oper...Sha…received your request for reinforce...en route to your position…"

"Omaddon! Get on that transmission!" ordered Drake suddenly after the message had ended. "I want to know where he is at all times!"

Omaddon started. "Why me?"

Drake gave him a annoyed look as he said "Are you serious?"

"I don't know why you're asking me. Seriously!"

"You're our communications specialist, idiot. Now get in the base and guide him in!"

"Oh," Omaddon said, walking into the base. "Right! My bad."

Drake and Johan stared after Omaddon for a moment. Finally, Johan said, "Communications? Really? I thought you just put him in to make us look better."

"You'd have to really, _really_ suck to make you look better," Drake said insultingly.

"That's not cool, Drake," Johan said sadly.

(Meanwhile)

"Alright, first, I'd like both of you to get acquainted with our new weapon developed recently for field use," Ranger said, taking out an unfamiliar weapon. D-dude and X looked at it. Simply put, it was a large weapon, only slightly bigger and bulkier than a rocket launcher with dragon style mouth for whatever this thing shoots out.

"Meet the Z7G-GNR," Ranger said, indicating the device. "This is a directed energy weapon developed by reverse-engineering darkside technology and improving upon its design and also decreasing the backlash ratio." Ranger finish only getting confuse looks. "Its a powerful laser bazooka." Ranger said making them go 'ahhh' in understanding.

Ranger rolled his eyes, but decided to explain some more. X hearing a strange sound look up in the sky to see a Banshee

Ranger continued on, oblivious to his audience's inattentiveness. "This weapon here can effectively neutralize any ground or air vehicle."

"Like a Banshee?" D-dude asked, who had also noticed the oncoming assailant and was still staring at it.

"Exactly. Now, let me demonstrate how this works."

"How about on the Banshee right behind you making an attack run?" X suggested, pointing at the approaching Banshee. Ranger turned around and pointed the weapon at the vehicle. He pulled the trigger and held it as a green light started growing brighter at the opening in the front, a small aiming laser emanating from one of the dragon head eyes.

Oldkid spotted three humans outside the base and noticed one of them pointing something at him.

"What the hell is that human pointing at me?" he asked aloud. He laughed when all that reached the Banshee was a small laser. "Ha, that dinky weak laser beam can't do any – "

He never got to finish the sentence; at that moment, an enormous laser shot straight through the Banshee, splitting it in half and knocking out the pilot. Oldkid yelled as he fell to the ground with a thud, the remains Banshee falling on top of him and killing him.

X and D-dude stared at the Banshee, dumbfounded by the sheer power of the device. Ranger turned back to his audience and continued on as if nothing unusual had happened.

"Now, remember," he said, "it has a three-second charging time, so do your best to paint the target and remain out of the line of fire while it's charging. Any questions?"

There was a pause. X Prodigy and Dimension-Dude closed their mouths and turned to Ranger.

"Nah…I'm good," D-dude said.

"Pretty self-explanatory," X concurred.

**(That's this one, once again thanks to Iron Mantis!)**


	8. History

Outpost Isil

Episode 7!

History!

Back at the Darkside Base, Drake, Johan and Omaddon where staring at the dead body of Oldkid.

"What're we gonna do now?" Omaddon asked.

"We could eat like Drake wanted," Johan said. But Drake made a gag looking face.

"Eww, no, he's been on the floor way too long," Drake said.

"I'm amazed he is still in one piece," Johan said amazed.

"Never underestimate Darkside toughness, or crappy Author tech," Drake said. As Omaddon turned to face Drake confused.

"What do you mean?" Omaddon asked as Drake turned to face him.

"You know those weird devices that make multi-flavours stuff?" Drake asked.

"A Blender?" Omaddon asked as Drake nodded.

"Ever tried to use one, Onikagemon nearly lost his entire hand trying to use one of those things," Drake said.

(Meanwhile)

Back at the Author Base, D-Dude was entering X's room to see him working on something.

"Hey X what's up?" D-Dude asked.

"Oh hey D-Dude, just building something," X said.

"What?" D-Dude asked.

"Well you had enough parts here to make a Hornet," X said as he was going through the piles trying to find parts.

"Oh sweet, I was wondering what we'd do with those parts," D-Dude said.

"Something bothers me though, you had enough parts to service two hornets, what happened to those Hornets?" X asked

"Oh that, we had a small incident, with some Fatalities," D-Dude said.

"Some?" X asked.

"Long story short, someone left a Missile pod on the floor, I trip over it, it fired and boom, both Pilots and flight crew killed, body parts everywhere," D-Dude said.

"Dear Sparda," X muttered.

"Don't worry, that happens all the time here," D-Dude said.

"That's suppose to make me feel better?" X asked.

"Well it makes me feel better," D-Dude said.

"What happened here, you have only four Soldiers no Veichles, what happened to your Tank or Mongoose and for that matter, what the hell happened here?" X asked.

"Well about that you see..." D-Dude started to say when Ranger came in.

"What the hell you two talking about?" Ranger asked.

"Oh nothing, just World Peace, nothing you'd be interested in," D-Dude said chuckling nervously as X sighed.

"D-Dude was just telling what happened to this outpost," X said.

"Go on D-Dude," Ranger said.

"You see the trouble started when..." D-Dude said as we switch to a flashback.

(Flashback)

We see D-Dude walking across the valley before seeing something going into a cave.

"That's where the captain takes his naps? Better check it out," D-Dude said following. Entering the cave

"Hold it right there ya....Darksides where'd you guys come from?" D-Dude said as he saw the Captain, Kiba (Naruto) Surrounded by two Darksides.

"Oh god, of all the people to come to help me," Kiba muttered.

"Captain, I thought this world was Darkside free?" D-Dude said as Kiba groaned.

"Silence! Move and the Captain dies!" One of the Darksides said.

"D-Dude call for help! Do something right!" Kiba said.

"Him? This pussy can't tie his own shoes!" One of the Darksides said as D-Dude narrowed his eyes.

"Pussy!? You better let him go! Or else," D-Dude said bringing out a Rocket Launcher and started to 5.

"He does know that if he fires that, your dead?" One of the Darksides asked Kiba.

"You kidding, he's so stupid he probably thinks he's back in the kitchen," Kiba said.

"Wait...he's a cook?" One of the Darksides asked.

"4!" D-Dude said as Kiba looked up.

"What did I do god?" Kiba said as outside the cave an explosion was heard.

(End Flashback)

"You killed Captain Kiba? What the hell is wrong with you people?" X said.

"You people? That's just D-Dude and you haven't heard the half of it yet," Ranger said.

"He's done more damage to the command structure?" X asked.

"Yeah, Lieutenant Skinner (Simpsons) was his next victim," Ranger said.

(Flashback)

It was on Skinner's birthday. Ranger, Nukid, D-dude, and Lieutenant Heather (TDI/TDA) were staring down into the pit of the lower armory. D-dude was holding a large, heavy looking bat.

"D-dude, you idiot," Nukid said. "Hit the piñata, not the birthday boy!"

"What?" D-dude said, turning to Nukid with a confused expression. "That's not what Ranger said."

Everyone turned to look at Ranger. "What, i didn't think he'd take me too seriously!" Ranger said defensively

"Bullshit, Sergeant," Heather reprimanded the Twilight warrior. "You knew exactly what he would do. To think he promoted you after the Rocket Accident."

"Yeah well your a total bitch." Ranger said.

Their attention shifted back to the armory when they heard a voice from where Skinner fell.

"I'm okay," Skinner said. "I landed on this box in the armory…but I'm fine!"

Ranger breathed a sigh of relief. "You're damn lucky, D-dude. I mean, if he did die, you'd be – " He suddenly stopped and listened for something.

"Wait a second…does anyone else hear a hissing noise?" Ranger asked curiously

Heather froze. "Wait…what was in the box?"

"These little blue orbs," Skinner answered. The other four looked at each other in horror. "They're hissing now, and they kind of burn."

"Oh, shit," Heather said nervously as the four of them backed away.

Skinner was unaware of their departure; at the moment, he was too busy looking at the orbs, which he thought looked slightly familiar –

"Wait…are these…?" His eyes grew wide in terror as the hissing noise got steadily louder.

"Aw, fu-" Skinner started to say, but an explosion cut him off.

It was the day after Skinners death. D-dude had gone into the armory in search of the Lieutenant's body. Heather was standing outside the armory, d-dude then picked up something

"Hey, cool!" he said as he activated it, revealing it to be a Covenant energy sword. "Hey, check this out!"

"Check what out, D-?" Heather never finished her sentence; D-dude tripped and accidentally sliced the Lieutenant's head in two, killing her.

(End Flashback)

"We all agreed that last one was okay, personally I never liked that bitch" Ranger said as X glanced at him.

"Ranger, I am glad that you outrank me," X said gratefully. Just as Nukid came in.

"Hey guys have you seen...?" Nukid started to ask.

"Holy shit! Someone snuck in killed Nukid and is wearing his armour!!" Ranger yelled.

"Ranger did you sneak into Nukid's stash again?" D-Dude asked.

"Didn't you hear his voice?" Ranger asked.

"Yeah Laryngitis," Nukid said.

"He came down with it awhile ago," D-Dude said.

"Oh, OH, so that's what that note meant, why did you write, 'Nukes got a fucked up voice?'" Ranger asked.

"What did you think it was?" D-dude asked.

"I thought it was a clever observation when I was drunk," Ranger said.

"The words Ranger, Clever and Drunk shouldn't be put in the same sentence," Nukid said.

"Anyway, what were you asking?" D-Dude asked.

"I was looking for my Medical Charts, you seen them?" Nukid asked.

"We put them in the crate stashed behind the Pelican," Ranger said.

"You mean the crate you didn't find, the same one the Darksides have?" Nukid asked.

"No...ah crap," Ranger muttered.

**(Anyway that's this one done, anyway next time, Ranger, D-Dude and X plan how to get the Charts back while X is given more info about what happened to the other members of this squad)**


	9. Pains of the Plan

Outpost Isil

Episode 8!

Pains of the Plan!

Back at the Darkside base, we see the body of Oldkid inside getting up again.

"Uhhh...where am I?" Oldkid muttered looking around,

"OLDKID!!!" Is heard as Omaddon came in causing Oldkid to jump and pin the stupid Darkside to a wall.

"Damn it Omaddon! Don't sneak up on me like that!!" Oldkid yelled.

"Sorry we thought you died," Omaddon said.

"Ah Damn it, I'm still alive! I want to go to hell and shag some of those sexy demon chicks!" Oldkid said but Omaddon just stared confused.

"Drake said you were already spoiled, but I thought you could make good din..." Omaddon started to say but Oldkid interrupted.

"The Respawn did this, I knew it, where is that guy, Dope, Drag, Drakken?" Oldkid asked.

"Drake?" Omaddon said.

"Yeah him, I need to find him, we have to get the flag back quickly," Oldkid said.

"Downstairs but he dosen't..." Omaddon started to say.

"Thanks!" Oldkid said dashing off.

"Man, I was looking forward for fried Oldkid," Omaddon said.

(Meanwhile)

We see X, D-Dude and Ranger scouting the Darkside base.

"Are you sure they have the documents, you could have lost them again Ranger," D-Dude said as Ranger handed him the Sniper Rifle.

"See for yourself," Ranger said as D-Dude looked through the scope.

"Yep they have our documents and they have another Darkside, like I suspected," D-Dude said.

"Uh Ranger, something been bothering me." X said

"Yeah what is it?" Ranger asked curiously as he turned to X,

"If you knew D-dude killed off all previous commanders, why do you keep giving him powerful weapons" X asked a bit disturbed.

"Oh well all those other deaths were cause by negligence. I on the other hand don't sleep therefore I'm always prepared to stop D-dude from killing me accidentally." Ranger said proudly

"Okay Ranger, I'm done with this thing" D-dude said about to give it back but accidentally firing it at ranger back. "Oh crud" D-dude said but Ranger didn't flinch.

"I see you also got your armor upgraded." X said with a bit of praise

"Heh, what can I say. I like to prepare myself for all possibilities." Ranger said as he slowly turned to D-dude.

"Ranger I'm so sorry, it slipped and ehehehehe," D-Dude laughed nervously,

"Oh you slipped huh?" Ranger said sarcastically before he fired a bullet at D-Dude.

"Ow!" D-Dude said running back to the Base with Ranger in pursuit constantly firing.

"Opps, I'm such a klutz," Ranger said as X sighed.

(Meanwhile)

Oldkid was coming downstairs and arrived at Drake's position who was with Johan.

"Oldkid!? Your alive!?" Drake said. Amazed.

"Of course, now you can see Respawn exists," Oldkid said.

"Either that or your more Badass than me, and that's Impossible," Johan said as Oldkid and Drake stared at him.

"What...something on my face?" Johan asked.

"You don't understand Drake, it's not the flag that's Important, it's what inside it," Oldkid said.

"You mean the Respawn device is in the flag," Drake asked.

"No, look come with me, I'll explain everything, leave the Idiot here," Oldkid said.

"Fine, Johan drop the box," Drake said.

"But this box must be important," Johan said.

"All we found was paper and a strange powder that made our noses bleed, now stay!" Drake ordered before he and Oldkid left.

"I never get to have any fun," Johan muttered.

(Meanwhile)

"Now that Discipline has been dispensed," Ranger said.

"Discipline my ass," D-Dude muttered.

"No he dispensed Discipline on your ass and the rest of your body," Nukid said.

"What's that, someone else need some Discipline?" Ranger asked pointing his gun at Nukid.

"Nono! Not at all," Nukid said quickly.

"Yeah shut you up...OW!" D-Dude said as Ranger hit him again.

"Now we can plan," Ranger said.

"Hold on...what happened here?" X asked.

"What do ya mean?" Ranger asked.

"I know the Commanders are dead, but what about the rest of the Soldiers, what happened to the Equipment, did D-Dude kill them all?" X asked.

"Not really he had help...sort of," Ranger said.

(Flashback)

We see strange country music playing

"YAHOO!!" Is heard as a Mongoose drove off a ramp, as on it was two guys named Argit (Ben ten Alien Force) and Billy Numerous (Teen Titans)

"Damn those idiots! I can't believe they got the keys to the Mongoose again!?" D-Dude said as Ranger had his game face on.

"Don't worry, I got a plan," Ranger said as we see Argit and Billy driving the Mongoose.

"Hey Argit look Detour to a Super Jump! Yehaa!" Billy said as he drove the Mongoose through the Grav-Lift.

"WAHOO....ARRGGGGHHH!!!!" They screamed as they landed into a pile up of Land Mines and Power Cores causing an Explosion as we see Ranger, Nukid and D-Dude in cover.

"HELL YEAH!! Take that ya Bastards, now I can finally drive that Fricking Mongoose WAHOO!" Ranger said.

"How can you Ranger, you blew it into Orbit," Nukid said.

"You got the Dice-Key Chain, but that's it," D-Dude said. As Ranger lowered his head.

"MOTHA FU....!!" Ranger started to yell.

(End Flashback)

"And Everyone else?" X asked. As another Flashback started)

(Flashback)

"This isn't happening you can't do this Ranger!!" D-Dude said as we see three other Soldiers beside Ranger and D-Dude the first two was a anthromorphic bear named Tim (The Cleveland show) and a guy named Vlad (Xiaolin Showdown) Also with them was a simple Red Armoured guy.

"Shut up D-Dude," Ranger said.

"If you kill them, what makes us different than the same Darksides!?" D-Dude said.

"Cause...WE LIVE HERE!!" Ranger said as he shot Vlad.

"Woo! D-dude dig me a pit cause I'm gonna kick someone into it!" Ranger said.

"Ranger what the hell man!?" D-Dude said.

"What we do live here?" Ranger said.

"Yeah but so do they, the Russians got shipped here like us to Defend Earth!" D-Dude said as Ranger turned to Tim.

"Oh shit, Tim I'm sorry..." Ranger said.

"It's ok, I won't press charge," Tim said

"But what will we tell your superiors" D-dude asked

"It's alright, he wasn't really like was known to steal magical object for evil stuff so they won't mind that Ranger killed Vlad," Tim said.

"Well it's good your alive, now we can beat those Darkside side by side," D-Dude said when suddenly the Red armoured guy shot Tim's head off.

"What the hell dude you blew his head off!!" D-Dude said.

"GLORY TO THE FLAG!!" The Red Zealot yelled punching D-Dude, stole a Mongoose and drove off.

"What happened to him?" X asked.

"GLORY TO THE FLAG!!!!!" The Zealot yelled as two Banshees shot him.

(End Flashback)

"Or something like that, we're not sure, we just heard a lot screaming about a Flag and explosions like boom," D-Dude said.

"Why'd you ask?" Ranger asked.

"Gauging my chance of survival," X said.

"Slim to none," D-Dude said.

"Anyway our plan is to sneak into the Darkside base and retreive or destroy the Documents," Ranger said.

"Retreive mostly," Nukid said.

"At least we should take an explosive, that should also disrupt them," Ranger said.

"This sounds good, but how we gonna sneak into that base with who knows how many Darksides guarding it and get a crate out without being Detected!?" D-Dude asked.

"That's the easy part," Ranger said.

"That's the only part," Nukid said.

"Oh..right," Ranger said.

"Here is how we'll get in, X?" Ranger said as X nodded.

"Ok come out," X said as a Hornet came flying in.

"You finished it and put a remote voice activated guidance system?" D-Dude asked.

"Bitch, I don't take no orders, especially from you Lizard," The Hornet spoke.

"It's Dragosaur!!" D-Dude yelled.

"I put Gamma's A.I, into the Guidance system, he should be very useful in this kind of mission," X said.

"In english, I'm the Pimp daddy and your all hoes!" Gamma said.

"Any questions?" Ranger asked.

"What do I do?" Nukid asked.

"Betsy," Ranger said.

"Oh hell yeah!! I'm coming baby!" Nukid cheered dashing off.

"Betsy?" X asked.

"Our Minigun Emplacement, Nukes got a unhealthy attachment to it," D-Dude said.

"Ok, I'll brief you on the way," Ranger said.

"Ranger what's brief?" D-Dude asked.

"Get into the Hornet now!" Ranger said. As D-Dude got into the Cockpit, while X and Ranger hung onto the sides.

**(That's this part done! Anyway Ranger and X enter the Darkside base, where X finds even the Darksides are just as Insane, while Ranger goes one on one with Drake)**


	10. Full Frontal

Outpost Isil

Episode 9!

Full Frontal!

Omaddon was walking down the hall of the base, till he heard the radio blared to life with a voice saying "Outpost Valhalla are you there?"

Omaddon walked to the radio and picked of a mic as he said "Hello this is Omaddon again"

"Omaddon, listen. Where is your commander I must speak to him immediately. Its a matter of the utmost importance" the voice said

"I'm sorry but Drake's busy at the moment, can i take a message" Omaddon said sounding like a telephone operater

"What!" the voice said annoyed

"Drake is unavailable at the moment, please try calling again later in the day" Omaddon said

"This is important!" the voice said urgently

"Uh-huh" Omaddon said sarcastically. "Sure it is. If its that important you can call again later"

"Waits, its about the flag, its got-" but before the voice could say anything Omaddon turned the radio off.

"Man, that telemarketer keeps getting worse and worse!" Omaddon muttered.

(Meanwhile)

Drake and Oldkid are discussing the Importance of Oldkid's target.

"Dran you have to understand," Oldkid said.

"For the last time it's Drake!!" Drake said.

"Yeah sure Drape," Oldkid said as Drake sighed. "Something wrong Drowl?"

"Nothing continue," Drake said.

"Yeah anyway the flag isn't important, that was the Camoflague for what it really held.

"The Respawn?" Drake asked.

"No what's inside is a Forerunner Oracle," Oldkid said. Stunning Drake.

"Your Shitting me," Drake said.

"What?" Oldkid asked. Confused as Drake shook off his shock.

"Nothing, your telling the truth?" Drake asked.

"Yes, that Flags an Ancient Oracle, the Knowledge is Priceless, which is why we need to get it back," Oldkid said.

"With what? All we got are two Darksides who are no better than Dark Warriors, and only Two Ghosts against that One Twilight Warrior Army, and who knows what else," Drake said.

"Your right we need to think of a plan," Oldkid said.

"Oh really that's brillant, cause I thought flying straight to the enemy base in a Banshee, with no clue what was facing us, was better than actually thinking," Drake said sarcastically.

"That's retarded, anyway I'll need some time to figure this out," Oldkid said as he left the room as Drake sighed.

"What an Idiot," Drake said.

Meanwhile Oldkid kept walking down the hall to see Omaddon.

"Dare I ask what your up too?" Oldkid asked.

"Trying to find a way to block calls, we keep getting this caller who says he has a warning for Drake," Omaddon said.

"So you think it's an Author?" Oldkid asked.

"Drake kept something someone had to have survived, but it's been ages since we controlled this planet, I can't get this whoever he is from transmitting," Omaddon said.

"Have you pinpointed him?" Oldkid asked.

"I've tried, but he seems to be getting closer each time," Omaddon said.

"That can't be good, does he change his name?" Oldkid asked.

"No just one telemarketer, persistant son of a heartless," Omaddon said.

"What a Telemarketer?" Oldkid asked.

"Yeah some guy named Shade, who want to sell some A.I?" Omaddon said.

"Shade? The Spec-Ops Darkside Shade?" Oldkid asked.

"I dunno," Oldkid said.

"Mother of Rasets, I got to tell Drake, Omaddon if he calls again don't hang up, keep him talking," Oldkid said.

"I don't want any A.I, I want real brain power," Omaddon said stupidly.

"Just keep him talking!" Oldkid said as he left.

"Fine, then you'll be paying for it!!" Omaddon yelled.

Oldkid left the room and headed back to Drake but saw Johan.

"Johan? What are you doing?" Oldkid asked.

"I thought I heard something," Johan said.

"Shouldn't you be guarding the Box?" Oldkid asked.

"I got tired guarding that piece of shit, so I was heading to the Kitchen when I heard something like a Vehicle, I think," Johan said just as the Hornet flew into view, piloting it was D-Dude and on the sides where Ranger and X.

"Uh those Missile pods on the wings?" Oldkid asked.

"Yep," Johan said.

"And they are locking on to us?" Oldkid asked.

"Yep," Johan said.

"I really hate dying, but maybe this time I can get to hell and shag those Demon Chicks," Oldkid said.

"You and Me both," Johan said, as he quickly retreated into the base, as Oldkid was blown back, dead...again, as D-Dude landed the Hornet and Ranger and X got off, X was holding a bomb.

"Ok X, remember the plan, I'll go find the Documents, you find a good place to plant the bomb, and get back in 5 minutes, and be careful, that is my favorite explosive, and I don't want it going off early," Ranger said.

"Thanks for the concern," X said.

"Oh no, I'm not concerned about you, I'm concerned about wasting explosives," Ranger said as X sighed.

"That I agree with you," X said as they split up.

(With Ranger)

Ranger was running down the hall but was blocked by Johan, Omaddon was able to get behind him so he can't go back.

"You putrid Twilight sonuva dick-weed! I finally get a chance to get back at you for what you done to me, all these YEARS!!!" Johan snarled

"I got him Johan" Omaddon said throwing a spike grenade at the back of Ranger head, fortunately Ranger ducked as the grenade flew past him and hit Johan in the face.

"OWW! Omaddon you idiot" Johan said painfully as the spike in the grenade sticked to his face.

"Ohh, that gotta Hurt!" Ranger said but noticed something.

"Hey, why didn't that thing explode?" Ranger asked curiously

"Probably on a delay timer" Johan said

"But it will explode?" Ranger asked

"What do you think!?" Johan snapped.

"Alright, i'll tell you what. I'm going to give you a chance to get revenge on that friend of yours." Ranger said.

"Really?" Johan said surprised.

"Course, I'm a gentleman. How could i not allow you to defend your honour." Ranger said.

"You know, your not bad for a human." Johan said

"I try." Ranger said taking a couple step side ways so Johan can get easy access to Omaddon.

"C'mere Omaddon!" Johan snarled as he stomped forward.

"Oh no, no hugs. I don't want any hugs from you!" Omaddon said taking a few steps backwards and bumped into the wall.

"C'mere you piece of trash! i'm going to hug you so Hard... YOU'll EXPLODE!" Johan snarled as he grabbed Omaddon just as the grenade gone off.

Ranger watch the explosion as he muttered to himself "You know, that darkside gave me the feeling of someone i killed before..."

Ranger shrugged his shoulders as he said "Oh well, it might've been just De javu." with that Ranger headed off.

(With X Prodigy)

X was in another area and passing some strange containers.

"Plasma Batteries, must be getting close," X said but then noticed something.

"Wait a minute, those Darksides have done something to these shells....wait...no way...then again this valley does strange things to people....Darkside Moonshine!? Dear Sparda this place is fucked up!!" X said in shock.

(With Ranger again)

Ranger was dashing down a hallway and then noticed the target.

"Here you are," Ranger said before opening the Comm.

"X I found the box but it's empty, I'll blow it and we'll meet up at the LZ," Ranger said cutting the connection.

"Your not going anywhere Twilight," A voice is heard as Ranger turns to see Drake and smirked.

"Hades Ripoff, long time, how you doing?" Ranger asked as Drake narrowed his eyes.

"Great, now that I can avenge the deaths of everyone in this base," Drake said.

"Now don't get ahead yourself, after all I am the One Man ass-kicking machine," Ranger said.

"Before we get to the fight, I have to say I'm curious about how Twilight Warrior tastes?" Drake said.

"It's a cross between Chicken and Beer, best deep fried," Ranger said.

"Good to know thanks," Drake said.

"Anytime," Ranger said and with that they started shooting at each other, Drake trying to blow Ranger to bit's, and Ranger...well he's just doing what comes natural, As eventually they arrived at a balcony.

"Now time to finish this," Drake said.

"I agree with you pansy for once!" Ranger said as they pointed each others weapons at each other...when X suddenly came in and knocked Drake out, Ranger then stared at this for two seconds before he punched X into a wall.

"DAMN IT X!! THAT WAS MY KILL!!" Ranger yelled.

"Sorry but the bombs gonna go off soon!" X said clutching his head.

"Fine let's go before this place is like D-Dude's kitchen during mystery meatloaf day," Ranger said as they both headed back to the hornet and D-Dude quickly headed outta there.

"Watch this," X said using his fingers he counted from 3 to 0, and then a Huge Explosion was heard! As Ranger grinned.

"Perfect ending," Ranger said as D-Dude flew them back to base.

**(That's this one, hope everyone liked it, anyway next time two new arrivals show up at the human base, knowing something that Ranger only does named: Project Green Lantern...that is if they survive Nukid and his Minigun, Betsy?)**


	11. Embedded Part One

Outpost Isil!

Episode 10! Part 1

Embedded! Part 1

It was a rather...less chaotic day so far at Planet Isil at Outpost Valhalla, but then two newcomers were approaching the Author Base the first was a young girl around 19 years old, Chestnut brown hair that goes few inches below shoulders and chin-length bangs, Four scars over right cheek, Almond-size sky blue eyes, Light tan and wearing a Violet long-sleeve shirt; blue jean vest; flare blue jeans; black belt that slide down slightly on the right side; black tennis shoes; black sunglasses

Next to her was a Kid wearing an orange snorkel parka, orange pants, and brown gloves, he was wearing the hoody so only his eyes and nose could be seen and he seemed to be carrying a camcorder.

"So this is outpost Valhalla...not exactly what I expected for a top secret facility," The Girl said calmly glancing around at the Author Base.

Just then her companion began saying something unhearable though she seemed to here it sound like 'Whatever I just carry your damn camera!' As she turned to the kid.

"Why're you such a dick all the time?" She said.

'You don't pay me to be nice,' He muffled as the girl sighed.

(5 Minutes later)

The Pair had arrived outside the Author Base and saw Nukid at the Mini-gun emplacement.

"Hello? Sir?" The Girl asked.

'Hey asshole!' The Kid muffled causing Nukid to wake up.

"Ah TOAD!" He yelled firing his minigun as the two newcomers jumped behind a rock.

D-Dude then arrived to see Nukid firing on the rock and joined in firing Rockets and fireballs at the rock, soon X arrived and began shooting his guns too at the rock, for a good minute they kept up that barrage as Ranger arrived to see this sight and sighed.

"Nukid my respect for you just tripled these last 30 seconds, the rest of you make me so proud to call me your CO, overwhelming firepower...beautiful," Ranger said.

'HOLY SHIT! CALM THE FUCK DOWN! WE'RE ON YOUR SIZE! CRAZY BASTARDS!' The Kid's muffled yelling is heard behind the rock.

"Aw Damnit not again! D-Dude when are you going to figure who's the friends and enemies!" Ranger said.

"Hey it wasn't me! I joined in cause I thought Nukid was in trouble," D-Dude said.

"Nukid? But that don't make no sense? Nukid dosen't kill human...anymore," Ranger said.

"Sorry Ranger..I thought they were Toads," Nukid said as Ranger sighed.

"Damn the damn Toad thing again.." Ranger sighed.

"Hey! Toads are evil creatures that need to be exterminated from the Universe!" Nukid said.

"Toads? What! I've heard of being scared of toads but hating? Come on Nukid!" X said.

"They are evil! That exterior is just a ruse for the evil creatures that can take over the universe in an instant!" Nukid said.

"Alright then name one evil toad and I'll believe you, just one and I'll believe you," Ranger said.

"Well there's that Hypnotoad from Futurama?" D-Dude offered.

"Yeah see! If we don't do something soon, the rise of the Hypnotoad army will be at hand!" Nukid said.

"Alright my paranoid, get into the base and find your tinfoil hat while I handle the two you tried to kill," Ranger said.

"You'll see! You'll all see! All hail the hypno toad!" Nukid said heading inside.

"Well that ruins my theory," X said.

"What Theory?" D-Dude asked.

"That Nukid was the only sane one here, turns out he's just as nuts as everyone else, so my conclusion is this place is a portal to hell," X said calmly as Ranger turned to the rock were the two strangers were hiding.

"Alright you can come out now, sorry about Nukid...he's...well he's Nukid," Ranger said.

"You sure it's safe?" The Girl's voice is heard.

"Probably not, but it's safer," X said. The girl began slowly walking into view when a bullet hit the rock and she dashed back behind it.

"D-DUDE!" Ranger snapped.

"Oh *chuckles* sorry I thought they were clowns.." D-Dude said sheepishly.

"How...what I just said...why! What is wrong with you!" Ranger snapped.

"What Nukid's argument was convincing," D-Dude said as Ranger snatched his weapon.

"Go join Nukid in the loony bin," Ranger said.

"Aww come on Ranger..." D-Dude said.

"NOW!" Ranger snapped.

**(And that'll be part one of episode 10, next time will be part 2, where Ranger and X meet the two new arrivals and they get introduced to the crazyness of the Author base...)**


End file.
